i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
