Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
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