I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
operation have a gay friend backfired
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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