so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Randomize
