ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
