I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
