omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
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