just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Randomize
