I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
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It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
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