We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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