If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
