why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
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