do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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