It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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