You're so nebulous sometimes
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Randomize
