I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
