Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
