respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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