You're completely useless in the revolution.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
