I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
did you just send me my own nude
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
