Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
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