Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
