He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
