Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
