he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize
