haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
