My boss' voice literally gives me gas
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
