Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
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