Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
