Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Randomize
