Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
