Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
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