you would pick up someone in the library
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
