yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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