I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
