I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
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Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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