remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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