im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Randomize
