I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Keanu Reeves Photobombed A Couple’s Wedding Photos As A Perfect Gift
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
29 Married People Share What They Used To Find Cute About Their SO—But Now Find Infuriating
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with