So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Randomize
