she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
