I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
