Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
