If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
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Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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