this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Randomize
