I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
