he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
