never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
