She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
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I think the camel was justified in biting me.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
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We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
It all started with a game of naked twister.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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