he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Randomize
