HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
