well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
