So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
