I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
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I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
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Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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