i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
