I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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