Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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