I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
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