There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
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