you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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