I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
