Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
