'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Randomize
